A Spiritual Family

The vocation of a spiritual family can be modeled after Mary’s vocation, which was to bear Christ into the world. Her womb was a space consecrated, emptied, and filled with Christ, according to God’s Will. In the same way, each spiritual family becomes a space that is consecrated, emptied of our own expectations and plans, and bears Christ into the world according to God’s Will, through the unique gifts of each member.

A Trinitarian Design

The ideal design for community, or for a spiritual family, reflects the Divine design of a natural family, which reflects the image of the love of the Trinity: “The Father pours himself out in gift to the Son. The Son pours himself out in gift to the Father, and the Holy Spirit bursts forth as a fruit of their self-giving love” (Katrina Zeno). By making a sincere gift of self to your brother or sister in Christ and receiving their gift of self, the fruit of your friendship is a new gift of love.

The seven stages

1 - VOCATION
When God has a particular work or vocation in mind for you, there are three components that develop:

• the desire for it

• the ability to do it

• the opportunity to do it

These usually don't come all at the same time. When all three are in alignment, God invites you to pursue the work and say, "yes".

2 - COMPANIONSHIP
Jesus sends his disciples out in twos. When we pursue the work He calls us to, there is usually someone who will join us on the journey. You will encounter someone who's desires, ability, and opportunity align with and complement yours as a counterpart. A natural friendship and connection begin to form. This spiritual companion can come in different ways:

• They come to you

• You talk about what you are doing and it resonates with someone

• You ask someone directly

• Once companions recognize a common call and mission, they commit to one another and the work.

Dreams for the future form: genuine friendship, with an orientation toward their love for God, making a gift of oneself, and an openness to others, can bring forth a community or Spiritual Family entrusted to their care. 

3 - CONSECRATION
The logistical questions come about: who, what, where, when, why, and how? 
You have a choice:

• Do I make plans and figure it out? Or

• Do I ask the Lord, "How will this be"?

• When we ask the Lord, "How will this be?", He will give us an idea of where to begin. We follow His direction, create a space, and dedicate it to the Lord for His will to be accomplished.

4 - EMPTINESS
Not only do we create a space, but God desires it to be empty and filled only with Himself through the means He gives. The natural human instinct is to fill the communal space with our imperfect plans, wants, and ways. Instead, God leads us through a process of being emptied to clear away what is of us and not of Him. We can either fight it or embrace it and say, like Mary, "let it be done unto me." As we are emptied, we are humbled, often feeling a poverty of spirit and lowliness. You can choose to become discouraged or despairing. Or you can ponder the situation and ask the Lord, "What are you trying to show me?" He will respond to that prayer and show you the unique shape of your emptiness, and what that unique shape will receive.
Embracing emptiness prepares us for what God intends to give us:

• The space is decluttered, making room for His gifts

• The schedule is freed, making us available for His plans

• Our vision is cleared, making us more aware of His action

5 - RECEIVE
We still have the hopes and dreams from when we said "yes" to our unique vocation, and we wait for the Lord in emptiness. Now all we have is what He gives, providing for every need at the time we need it. 
To wait and receive: 

• Pray: bringing all of your desires and needs before Him.

• Surrender: hold your ideas and plans in open hands, ready to surrender them.

• Watch: notice God’s small movements

• Relationship: dive into conversation with Him about what you think, feel, wonder, and struggle with. Identify what you sense He is saying to you in response.

• Cooperate: God is putting the pieces together and will give you what you need. Receive it.

• Gratitude: Give thanks in all things (blessings, joys, trials, and temptations). It’s all part of God’s work and movements for our gradual “becoming.”

We may not understand but receive and respond out of trust. Avoid drawing quick conclusions about where plans will lead and simply follow God’s direction.


​6 - FORMATION​
The process of "becoming" happens through the repetition of steps 4 and 5. Its is a molding, shaping, and reshaping over and over until your plans, heart, and soul are developed and refined. Gradually, your empty and consecrated space will grow and be shaped by His love. 

As your consecrated space is being formed, take notice of what is happening organically and reflect on these questions:

• Vision: Where are we going and what is the dream?

• Mission: What is the purpose of what we are doing and who does it serve? 

• Core Values: What elements are important to us and how do we live them out?

• Operations: Who is involved and what is their part? What are the strengths we have available to us? Where and when is this to happen? 

• Characteristics: What is unique about us and what traditions enrich our life together?

• Fruit: What kind of growth do we hope to see and what are our shared desires?

7 - FRUIT
Our dreams, vocations, and Spiritual Families are given to us for a purpose. When these spaces, founded in love and consecrated to the Lord, are emptied out and filled with His plans and the gifts of each individual member, what is poured out into the world is Jesus.

Again and again, Jesus is "born from every soul [and space] and formed in every life [and Spiritual Family]," revealing Himself in a new, unique, unrepeatable, and irreplaceable way that no other Spiritual Family has done before.

The Spiritual Family Methodology by Annie Buehnerkemper